Friday, June 18, 2010

1 year anniversary



Well, I can't even believe it has been a year.  This has been an interesting year to say the least.  I was going to write all the changes that have happened this year but as I sit here it is put on my heart to share with you why I started this blog in the first place. 

Last year at this time I was taking care of my Grandmother. It was her final days here on this earth. It was not an easy time. It was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever been exposed to. ( believe me I have been through a lot of adversity in my short life) I was exhausted emotionally and physically. I was had about every emotion you can think of coursing thru my veins at all times. I felt guilty, sad, angry, helpless, joy, grief... the list goes on and on. I can't tell you what it feels like knowing  that someone has almost completed their earthly journey and is about to meet their Heavenly Father. It is  surreal. 
I wasn't able to leave the house other then to go to the grocery to buy food. I was still caring for my family's needs as well. (probably not very well) So needless to say I needed some escape from what was going on inside these 4 walls....  
I found I started sewing  like a crazy person. In doing this I also started to read ... BLOGS. It helped me. I started looking forward to seeing what someone else was going thru. It took the focus off my confusion and helped me to regroup and refocus. I only was reading a couple of blogs. But that was just enough to get my mind off my circumstances. 

My Grandmother passed away June 30th last year. It was about 10 pm. My Father, Sara and I were with her when she went home to be with the Lord.  It was a day that I will never forget. She passed away 2 hours before my 35th birthday.  

I miss her so much.  I miss that I can't talk to her... hear her stories ... share "our" kids with her anymore. Funny but our little one Maddie reminds me of her so much. It is something that I wouldn't be able to say if I hadn't lived with her for that many years. I miss that I can't show her my photography and sewing and craft projects, she did an amazing job of being so supportive of everything I did. 

I love you, Gram.  I miss you. 



                                                 This is Gram and I when I was little
 
                           This is the 90th Surprise party I threw her... she was surprised! 

                                          Countless hours of playing with Sara....



                                                                  Gram & Maddie

                                                    One of the last photos I took of her. : )
                                              She is grinning at me... like she always did : )

4 comments:

Kathy G said...

What a nice way to honor your Grams memory.

Amy said...

thanks Kathy, you know you don't truly appreciate people until they are gone... Well at least I have learned that....

marge said...

whew! i teared up with the tea party picture. my grandmother lived with my mom and dad while i was in college. i loved having her so close. i miss the little things. i bet you do too.

Amy said...

OH so much I miss the little things like the way she always winked at me.... : )

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