Wednesday, September 26, 2012

struggle

I am struggling. 

With what to write about on this blog. 

I am struggling because I want to cover some topics that

are pretty hard. 

not pretty. 

But then those are really what life is about. 

Raw and Dirty.

So in the next few weeks, months, years.... 

(not sure how long it will take) 

I will be writing from my Heart. 

Real Life Junk. 

All the Crap that shapes us and makes us who we are. 

So my friends, that is what will be happening. 

My HOPE is that it will 

HELP just one person. 

(Really, I hope it helps lots of people)

But  to help One would be AMAZING. 


and I will leave you with this verse because as I was writing this post
God put this verse in my head. 

Ephesians 3:8

To me, the very least of all saints, this grace was given, to 

preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

thoughts

* I am sick. 
For the past 2 days. 

Oh whoa is me. 

Heavy cold. 
I was unable to run yesterday because of it.
feeling guilty about that. 
I was reminded that it would be okay if I skipped a day due to illness...
but I still feel a bit bad. 

* I did my photo shoot with a precious little baby girl.

8 days old.








* some things I learned from this shoot. 

1.  I need to stick to my style. 
When someone hires me they are paying me 
for my artistic vision. Don't get me wrong, I love suggestions. 
But every suggestion isn't always going to work with who I am 
or my particular style. 

2. Not everyone is going to love my style. 
and that really is okay. I am okay with people not loving my work.
Although, I am not okay with I didn't stay true to who I am as 
a photographer/artist and them not loving my work. 
I allowed to much "input" if you will 
and my work suffered. 


3. I am pretty sure that # 1 and # 2 are the same thing. 

So. I need to stay true to who I am. 
Sometimes we feel pressure 
from our clients. 
(I have never felt this before) 
Most times people allow me to go in and just do my thing. 
I felt a lot of pressure, I don't think I work well under those circumstances. 

Oh well.... Cest la vie. 

live and learn. 

* yesterday while laying on t he sofa all day long, I got to thinking about 
my living room. 
It is dull. 
Needs some fabulous bleached drop cloth slipcovers
that I can throw a fabulous colorful quilt over the back of. 
About 3 years ago we bought a sectional from Costso.
Ya know the one. Everyone has it. the microfiber with the ottoman. 

anyway,  It has served us well, but it really hasn't worn well, 
like Springs poking you in the rear when you sit upon it 
and its not all that comfy to lay down and cuddle on. 
So I have 2 sofa's currently living in the basement that I thought
maybe I could convince my husband that I could slipcover and put upstairs 
.... I haven't told him of my plans yet. He does sooooo love my plans... 
not. 

anyway, i think that would be amazing. 
and what do I have to loose. 
I will start with the bigger sofa
and get a few huge drop cloths bleached and ready to whip up....
I think it would be fabulous. 

(can you tell the blog I was reading yesterday was Miss Mustard Seed? )

well, off to start my day, I have been a complete slacker since Sunday. 

have a most fabulous day. 







Thursday, September 20, 2012

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

creating.

I have a newborn shoot tomorrow. 
I am the luckiest girl in the world. 
I LOVE to capture some brand new babiness.... (yup, made that one up)

they are all fresh and brandy new. 

SWEET! 

So, I am making some hand dyed baby wraps for the shoot tomorrow. 


I did three. 
Hot pink, Pale pink & white. 

Its very technical and took hours to make...

NOT. cheese cloth and some rit dye. 
I got distracted and left the HOT pink one in the dye bath a 
bit longer then I wanted and so instead of pale pink I got 
HOT pink. 
Sara, liked my mistake and so I decided to keep it. 



I made a newborn nest / bean bag this morning. 
I had been looking at them for a while 
and I thought man, I can make one...
They are just vinyl and bean bag stuffing... 
So, I made one. 

I reused an old bean bag chair cut it up and resewed it to 
the shape I wanted and then shoved all the bean bag stuff back in and sewed it
shut. 

VOILA. 


I can't wait to use that. 
and finally... I made a backdrop stand. 

My apologies for the messy laundry room. 
and  I have decided at 5  feet high 
its to tall so I am going to cut it down shorter. 

That was about 15 dollars in PVC pipe and some clamps.
and there you have it. 




I love taking pictures of babies. 

I love babies. 

and that pretty much sums it up. 

the end. 

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

running - week 6

 week 6
I am only a few weeks away to running my first 5 K 
I found a race for Oct 14. 

I am feeling great. 
I haven't really been weighing myself since the first week, 
only because It usually makes me sad that I don't see what I want to see
and then I usually give up. 
So this time I just decided not to. 
However, last night I took a sweatshirt out of my closet. 
(hasn't fit since I had Maddie and she is going to be 5...) 
I pulled it out. Slipped my arms in ...
and 
BAM. it fit. 
Let us just say I did the happiest happy dance....
anyhow 





I decided to get on the old scale this morning.... 

DRUM ROLL.....

down 13 pounds. 

Happy girl I am. 

yup, happy. 

my husband is fabulous. 
have I mentioned that before. 
he motivates me even though he LOATHes running. 
I was so discouraged this week for some crazy reason...
(SATAN)
and I seriously considered quitting. 
I totally talked my self out of being able to run what I had to .... 
my husband said to me... why are you psyching your self out? 
You can do it. 

and we went running. 
and I did it. 
I did it well.

and at the half way point I yelled out...

YES!

I am sure people going by may have thought I was coo koo...

don't care. 

So here I am in a terrible self portrait.... 


My husband is looking hot. 
slimming down. had to loosen the old belt 3 notches. 
YAY, Dom. 


Well. that's all for this week. 

the end.

















Photobucket

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Reflecting



We had news on Monday that a man from our church 
had passed away. 




He leaves behind a a 14 year old daughter that still lives at home.
He has several other children but they are all grown men and women and
live in the mid west. 
He also leaves behind his terminally ill wife who the daughter took care of much of the time. 

I just can't stop thinking about this girl. 

She is Sara's age. 


We just never NEVER know what God has planned for
our lives. 
We just can't seem to imagine how it will all 
work for HIS good. 
(but it will) 

I have been through enough circumstances in my life to 
realize that God's plans are not my plans, 
but yet they always are the best plans. 

I know that this is something people say all the time, 
Maybe it has become Cliche' but 
it is the truth. 

Life is short and fleeting. 
we are only here for a very very small amount of time. 
We need to remember to have faith through all circumstances 
and seasons of our lives. 






This little girl who just lost her Father. and essentially lost her mother years ago, 
She is still blessed. 
She is strong in her faith. 
She still can turn to her loving Father
and know he only has plans to prosper and not harm. 




For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
Jeremiah 29:11



I LOVE this verse. 
It is one I have to go back to a lot. 



* sara and her friend took these pictures. 
when I was looking thru  Iphoto today I happened upon them.  


Monday, September 10, 2012

honeycomb



I read today. 


Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. 

Proverbs 16:24

wow, that is such an incredible word picture. 
 Have you ever seen honeycomb? 
It is just ooozing with goodness. 
dripping and lovely. 

I guess I got yelled at a lot as a child. 
So in turn, I suppose I am a parent who seems to yell a lot as well. 
This is bad.
 I really really dislike this about myself. 

I need to focus on the good and drippy honeycomb words that
flow from my mouth to my children's ears. 
I need to encourage rather then to beat down. 
I need to learn to walk away 
rather then to have the last hurtful word. 

I watched Michelle Duggar encourage her child the other day. 
She encouraged her child to do something that needed to be done
but the child was frightened. 

Man, I was slapped in the face by the example 
where she encouraged, I would have lost my patience
 and just gotten angry and yelled. 

Which in turn gets NOTHING accomplished. 
I need to keep these things in mind when Parenting or being a wife or
just being a neighbor. 

I need work. 
God is not finished with me ...
not even close. 

I need to admit my weakness and then make a conscious effort to change it. 

Here I am. this is me. 
Imperfectly Beautiful. 

I need to focus on choosing words to encourage. 

I love Proverbs. they are incredibly useable. 



Photobucket

Friday, September 7, 2012

bomb




b o m b

I believe a Bomb has gone off. 

I don't mean to alarm anyone, 

but It has affected my entire house. 

EVERY room. 
 

and in other news. 

I have lost my wedding band. 
I am so so sad about this. 


the end. 



Wednesday, September 5, 2012

random running thoughts.


 5 weeks. 

Half way to running my 5 K. 

I don't feel like I am going to die when I run anymore. 

I feel great. 

I realize that I should have taken a before picture of myself 
day one week one

my clothes feel different a lot looser. 
this makes me happy. 

Did I say I am much happier when I am thinner. 

My husband told me my arms were getting bulky. 
(he lovingly  meant to say buff) 
this has now become the family joke. 

I LOVE my husband as he is helping me to achieve my goals
even when he really doesn't want to. 

I am so using my running time to pray and have time with God. 
mostly just thanking GOD when I running that i don't die while running. 
HAHA

I have been running to Blue Grass and Keith Green. 
Toby Mac is in the playlist as well, 

It is amazing to see how day one week one,
 I could barely run for a minute. 
and now I can run for 5 at a time. 
with only a 3 min walk and then another 5 min run. 
(that was yesterday's run) 

And that's it for now. 




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